My Boyfriend Likes Every Photos Of Girls On Facebook And Instagram. How Can I Deal it
You get out of bed and check your social media accounts. (Isn't that what you do every morning?) Twitter is checked. Check out TikTok. Instagram — hold on! You come across a photo of a hottie and see that your SO has double-tapped it. It's difficult to know how to respond when your spouse loves Instagram photos of other people… particularly when you think their interest is more than simply friendly. Do you have the right to be angry if your beau likes other people's photos while they are in a relationship with you? Of course, the solution is complex.
According to Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking Trombetti, it's natural to be envious if your spouse likes someone else's beautiful photos. She earlier told Elite Daily, “You have a right to feel uncomfortable.” “They may argue that if there was anything to it, they wouldn't like the photos in the first place, but I find it insulting to you and your relationship. It's one thing if it's a buddy, but it's quite another if they're like sexy Instagram photos of Instagram models.” And if you find your boyfriend or girlfriend like scantily dressed photos of other people on Instagram all the time, here's how to address it.
If your partner is a fan of an influencer or a celebrity,
Of course, double-tapping a prominent figure's Instagram while dating someone else is not illegal. However, if you think your SO's interest in that famous person is sexual or romantic, it's normal to feel a bit envious when you see all those likes. “It's normal for your partner's social media use to make you uncomfortable — several studies have found that social media monitoring of a partner's profile online is associated [with] conflict,” Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist, relationship coach, and creator of Your Happiness Hypothesis Method, previously told Elite Daily. “In addition, and inadvertently, knowing your spouse is checking profiles may generate uneasiness in you that was not before there.”
But, before you panic out, Silva suggests checking in with yourself to see why their conduct bothers you. “Before addressing your spouse, determine the source of your dissatisfaction. “Don't concentrate on the conduct; instead, focus on how the behavior made you feel,” Silva advises. “Then be honest if anything you discovered about your spouse online concerns you.” You may both be aware that your spouse isn't really trying to have a picture with Beyoncé, but if their continuous like of Beyoncé's photos is eating at the core of your anxieties, feel free to speak out.
If Your Partner Is Interested In Photos Of Someone They Know
Again, like a friend's or acquaintance's Instagram while you're in a relationship is not illegal. Only when your SO's interest in someone else on social media seems to be more than friendly should you be concerned. However, as relationship therapist Brenda Della Casa recently told Elite Daily, expecting your spouse to cease looking at other people just because you're dating is unrealistic. “It's absurd to think that once we fall in love or commit to someone, we stop finding other people attractive,” she says. “It's unreasonable to expect your spouse to never find someone else attractive or charming, but it doesn't imply they don't feel those things about you or want to leave you.”
Just though they like someone else's photos does not imply that they wish to date that person. Perhaps that individual just writes very witty captions or takes exceptionally beautiful pictures. However, don't be hesitant to question your SO about why they're like so many of their old high school classmates' postings. If their behavior is completely harmless, they should have no cause to feel bad about it.
If Your Partner Is Interested In Photos Of An Ex
It's one thing to enjoy photos of someone you have no chance (or interest) in dating; it's quite another to like photos of someone you used to date. According to Silva, the best approach to express your displeasure if your spouse likes photos of their ex is to be as clear as possible. “You might say, ‘Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling uneasy seeing that you're like pictures of your ex on Instagram.'” It made me question if you haven't moved on from your ex. ‘Do you still care for them?'” Silva proposed.
Of course, while discussing your partner's social media usage, it's essential to be non-confrontational about their intentions before assuming the worst. “Remember that what your spouse considers appropriate [may vary from what you consider acceptable] or that they may just glance at their ex out of habit.” “It may generate a cyclone of unintended connotations for you,” she said.
If your partner refuses to change their behavior,
In a perfect world, your boo would agree to alter their habits the moment you raise concerns about their social media use. However, if your spouse gets excessively defensive or makes a false promise, you should be cautious. “A spouse should prioritize your worries in their life,” Trombetti added. “If they continue to refuse to change, it means they aren't valuing your emotions, which is a warning flag.” At that point, you'll need to investigate why they're refusing to comply with your request, as well as how essential it is to you that they stop like other people's pictures.
Your spouse has the right to like anything they want on Instagram, but if their social media behavior makes you uncomfortable, it's worth discussing.