What Does 1000 Friends On Facebook Mean
And five years ago, I would have been standing right next to you, saying the same thing! Today, though, I am on the opposite side of the border line. The lonely side, which I entered a while ago-the realm of… Over Thousand Facebook Friends, or (OTFF)!
I’m not sure how I got here. No, wait a minute, I do. It is done on Facebook by clicking the ‘Accept Request’ button. (You say, “Droll.”)
OTFF has been a weird new realm for me. Every day, I sit down to pare down my Friend list to a manageable amount, such as923, but it never happens! As usual, I commit the cardinal sin of beginning with my pals alphabetically. My eyes are tearing from the exertion of scrolling through 200 names by the time I get to ‘B.’ (Why do SO MANY PEOPLE have names that begin with the letter ‘A’?)
How did I meet all of these people? What an absurd question! Of course, it’s because of my charming and wonderful personality! I mean, five minutes in an FB conversation with me and you realize you’ve met a soul you’ll be friends with for the rest of your life. Everyone intuitively understands this. I believe I exude a distinct ‘Friend scent’ across the virtual screens of our Web-connected world.
Facebook began as a somewhat sticky connection tool for reconnecting with individuals you’d lost touch with over time. Long-lost classmates, ex-colleagues from work, the distant cousin on your mother’s side who saw you when you were four months old and constantly gasps, “How you’ve grown,” when you see them at a family function once every twenty years: these are the individuals that can and will contact you. You realize now, too late, that you lost contact with certain individuals for a reason-Karma. Facebook, on the other hand, does not believe in the Karmic concept. It goes out of its way to unearth memories and souls from the past and offer them to you in a sidebar with the warning, ‘You may recognize these individuals.’
As a result, the most logical thing to do is to do the most logical thing.
You choose a Suggested Friend.
You look for ‘Mutual pals.’
You realize you have a half-brother in common.
You squeal with delight.
And the unavoidable occurs.
Of course, click ‘Accept.’ It would be WRONG NOT TO! If you refuse or, worse, block the individual, you may go to Eternal Damnation and rot eternally in Purgatory.
Of course, being a blogger puts you at a disadvantage when it comes to rejecting friend invitations. You visit a blogger on a regular basis, comment on their articles, and really like their writing. As a result, it’s only natural that they’d want to be close friends with you and discuss every other personal secret of their life with you through a social network. I mean, the reasoning is mind-bogglingly simplle
So the only thing you can do is irritate them to the point where they Un-friend you (God, I hate that term!). Yes! Put the responsibility for the deletion on them! That will demonstrate to them
Tips that SHOULD be useful for this include:
- Every day, provide a status update. Every three hours would be preferable.
- Share a video of children, animals, or children with animals. Again, once every two days should enough.
- Share a photo of a dirty coffee cup (Honestly, someone DID do this, and I had to delete them quickly). You never know with a dirty coffee cup today and waxed hair in the sink tomorrow!)
- Inform them that they are mistaken. Regarding their current situation. Do it impolitely.
- Share a post that reads, “Like it and watch what happens.”
After all of this, if you still have over 1000 Facebook friends, I’m afraid it’s your own responsibility. You must be either too kind or so terrifying that they are afraid the Hammer of Thor would wipe them out if they unfriend you.
For the record, I like ALL of my 1007 Facebook friends since their sum equals the number ‘8.’ Yes, I am a bit of a whimsy.
I have one question for those of you who have less than a hundred friends.